This year, Santa turns 2,403 years old. Although Greek by birth, the modern-day figure of Santa is based on images drawn by American cartoonist Nast in 1863 from the description given in the poem “ 'Twas the Night Before Christmas”, first published by Moore in 1823. 

During a typical 85-year lifespan, the average American requires 9.17 surgeries. It’s not inconceivable, therefore, that with his rather risky lifestyle, Santa, too, may one day need to go under the knife.

Santa may be reluctant to take time away from work, but thinking of the not-impossible event that he ever requires surgery (perhaps due to Tim Allen-esque trauma), I have started to risk-stratify the jolly old man. Should Santa experience an untimely demise perioperatively, not only will millions of children no longer wake to gifts under the tree, but in true Santa Claus™ style, someone in the hospital might be required to eternally take up his mantle, and the rota in our hospital is difficult enough to staff as it is.