Supporting your child through anaesthesia and surgery

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Having surgery and anaesthesia can be worrying for children. The resources below are designed to help parents and carers discover strategies and ideas to prepare children mentally for an operation and to help them have a positive experience. They have been produced by paediatric anaesthetists in collaboration with the Association of Paediatric Anaesthetists of Great Britain and Ireland.

A full list of contributors is available here.

What to say, when to say it and how to help them feel safe

Your words matter

This guide offers simple, positive ways to explain what’s happening to your child and helps you prepare them for their anaesthetic and operation.

Evidence shows that positive framing and the avoidance of certain words can have a positive effect on anxiety, pain tolerance and recovery in children.

Children take cues from you. If you’re calm and confident, they’re more likely to feel safe too. Even if they don’t fully understand what’s happening, they’ll notice how you talk and behave.

Honesty is the best policy

Be open and honest with your child about the fact that they need surgery. You may think that not saying anything and just taking them to hospital on the day might be easier, maybe because of a previous negative experience. The truth is that, in the experience of paediatric anaesthetists, this often backfires, with some children refusing the surgery altogether on the day. If you are worried that your child will not want to go to hospital, there are strategies that anaesthetists can use to help you prepare your child, such as hospital tours, interaction with play specialists and coming up with a bespoke plan to support your child. You will be offered a preoperative assessment ahead of the surgery to discuss your child’s specific needs.

When to talk to your child

Age 2–3 years – talk about it 2–3 days before and again on the day.
Age 4–7 years – start 4–7 days before the operation.
Older children – involve them early. Steer them away from potential online misinformation (including social media) and towards verified/recommended resources to read together.

We have a wide range of resources for children of different ages to help them understand what is going to happen and to answer their questions.

Let your child lead the conversation. Give them space to ask questions and share how they feel.

What to say: simple and supportive

Use calm, clear words

Say things like the following:

‘The doctors are helping fix something to make you feel better’
‘You’ll go to sleep and wake up when it’s done.’

Keep it short and neutral

Children pick up on your tone – even while playing. Stay matter of fact.

Answer questions honestly

If you don’t know something, say:

‘Great question! Let’s ask the doctor together’
‘Let’s look at the information together and find out.’

Use stories, play or books

See our resources for children:

children younger than 7 years old: Rees has an anaesthetic
children 8–11 years old: Dennis has an anaesthetic.

These can make the idea of an operation feel more familiar and less scary.

Let them be involved

Let your child pack their own bag. Offer choices:

favourite toy, blanket, game or snack
something special for the anaesthetic room (eg bubbles, cuddly toy, tablet).

Plan something to look forward to

‘Ask: ‘What treat would you like afterwards?’

It gives them something positive to focus on.

Explain that they will need to have an empty stomach for the surgery. You could say:

‘It is important that your stomach is empty of food when you go to sleep – you’ll be able to eat once you wake up. Let’s choose something together for you to look forward to’
It can be useful to fast in solidarity with your child, to demonstrate to them that it’s ’no big deal to miss one meal’.

What to avoid

Going into too much detail
Avoid lengthy or complex explanations. Stick to the essentials.
Dismissing their fears
Instead of ‘Don’t worry’ or ‘You’ll be fine’, say this ‘It’s okay to feel a bit worried – lots of children do. Let’s talk about it.’
Sharing your own fears
If you’ve had a tough experience with surgery or anaesthesia, try not to share it with your child. Speak privately to the medical team instead.
TV or social media examples
These often show unrealistic or dramatic scenes. Use trusted resources made for children and parents by healthcare teams, such as our patient information.
Scary words – use softer alternatives:
- pain – say this: ‘If it bothers you, there’s medicine to help
- the needle will hurt – say this: ‘You might feel some touching. The cream helps so it may not bother you
- feeling sick – say this: ‘The team can give you medicine to help you feel ready to eat or drink afterwards.

If your child has concerns

It’s normal for them to ask things like:

‘Will I feel anything?’
Say the following: ‘You’ll feel nothing and it will all be over before you know it’
‘How long will we be apart?’
Say the following: ‘The anaesthetic team stays with you the whole time to keep you safe and comfortable. They’ll bring you back to us as soon as you’re waking up.

Acknowledge all feelings – even small ones. Staying calm helps them stay calm too.

Disclaimer

We try very hard to keep the information in this leaflet accurate and up-to-date, but we cannot guarantee this. We don’t expect this general information to cover all the questions you might have or to deal with everything that might be important to you. You should discuss your choices and any worries you have with your medical team, using this leaflet as a guide. This leaflet on its own should not be treated as advice. It cannot be used for any commercial or business purpose. For full details, please click here.

First edition, January 2026
This leaflet will be reviewed within three years of the date of publication.

© 2026 Royal College of Anaesthetists (RCoA)
This information may be copied for the purpose of producing patient information materials. Please quote this original source. If you wish to use part of this information in another publication, suitable acknowledgement must be given and the graphics, branding, images and icons removed. For more information, please contact us at: [email protected].

This resource has been created by paediatric anaesthetists working with patient representatives, parents and carers. M365 Copilot has been used to improve readability and language.